My name is Javier Hernandez. I am age 29. I have been married to my wife for 3 years and we have 2 children, ages 1 and 10. I have been focused on understanding Humanity and Love for the past 4 years. This is an ongoing theory and will continue to develop as time goes by. This is what I have so far. More will be added. I am also working towards completion of 2 books that will paint the picture of how I came to understand what I’ve expressed in my theory. I just have to figure out how to get them published.
For humans to prosper, humans must understand their Humanity. To truly understand anything, we must begin at the beginning, at the root. It’s difficult for any human to understand who and what we are because as adult humans, we do not remember who we were as babies. I do not consciously remember my beginning. I do not remember my conception, my life within my mother, or my birth. I do not remember my infancy. But fortunately, babies are born every day and we can look to the world around us to help us connect the dots. Based on what I see around the world, I accept that I was conceived by my mother and father because that is what it takes to make every other baby. That is what it took for me, a human, to exist in this world today. It’s the same way me and my wife produced our 2 boys, aged 10 and 1. To produce a baby, you need one Man and one Woman. 2 people of the opposite sex have sexual intercourse and if the timing is correct (search ovulation), a man’s sperm will come together with a woman’s egg. Following ovulation, if fertilization and implantation (search Fertilization and Implantation) are successful, then a baby(s) is created within his/her mother. We know this from current world knowledge.
The way we know for sure that a baby is inside a woman is by hearing that little, rapid heartbeat. Thanks to our current medical knowledge, we have the tools that allow us to hear that heart beat loud and clear. Some people may not need to hear any heartbeat to know a woman’s pregnant. Some woman can tell by the change in their body, and some women and men can sense when someone is pregnant, as if they have a sixth sense. From my experience, I noticed and felt a change before confirmation of my wife’s pregnancies. But it wasn’t until I heard my child’s heartbeat when it all hit me; that me and my Love had created a baby within her.
Regardless of how we come to understand a woman is pregnant, the fact is that a separate, new life exists with the beating of another heart within a woman. Humans begin as a beating heart within their mother. Over the next 9 to 10 months, a new human develops and grows until they are ready for birth, ready to survive in this world as a single being. This is important to understand because a human could not do it alone. All humans needed mother and father to be created and needed mother’s body for protection from the outer world to develop strong enough to survive. No one can survive on their own. As long as humans are divided, humans will not prosper.
A more important thing to understand is that for your first 9 or so months (less for premature births) of your life, you spent your every moment with Mom. Your heart was with her heart, always. Your hearts became emotionally attached. Babies in their Mom can even feel Mom’s emotions because emotions are contagious (more on this later). When babies are born, they are still attached to their Mom. Mom develops milk in her breasts that feeds her baby so they will continue to grow healthily. A baby may fall asleep and sleep on their own but they always end up crying for Mom. It’s Mom’s warmth, powered by Mom’s heart, that calm a baby’s cries. When Mom holds her baby, baby will be back in the world they have known during their entire short life. Mom gives baby a feeling that no one else can. The feeling is the result of 2 hearts coming together. A baby will cry because of some emotional or physical distress, and they cry and cry because they need help to get back to their perfect feeling place of completeness, which is in Mom’s arms, against Mom’s body, close to her heart, the only place baby knew at the beginning. The most complete and satisfying feeling for a baby human is with Mom and her heart. Not alone. Baby didn’t begin alone. They began within a being (Mom) who had their own heart; 2 hearts beating within one being. And this leads to one of the main purposes of every individual’s life. One of the main purposes in life is for you to learn Love from Mom, then to leave Mom’s heart (which should feel complete with Dad) in search of the heart that will complete your heart. You are half and must find your One Love to feel whole. But simply finding your Love isn’t enough. Love is a long process that must be continuously worked on and protected because there is an ultimate goal: 2 hearts will connect into 1.
Alone, a human will never feel whole, never complete. Every human needs another heart to feel complete. At the beginning, that feeling is completed by Mom. It is every human’s relationship with their mother, at their beginning, that teaches the heart how to feel complete. But in life, it is not Mom’s heart that will complete baby’s because Mom’s heart belongs to Dad (and vice versa). Both Mom and Dad must share their love with their children to teach them Love. Dad will have a strong connection with their babies because half a baby comes from Dad. Hopefully, Dad’s connection will be strengthened because he is with Mom during the beginning, pre-birth, sharing love with Mom. The better a relationship is between Mom and Dad, the more precious love shared physically and emotionally during pregnancy, the more love will be injected in that baby because emotions are contagious. And hopefully Dad is a present father and strengthens his connections, especially with his daughter(s).
Upon birth, and for those first months and years after, relationships evolve. Men and women have biological differences. They are opposing beings that attract each other with more strength (some will feel stronger attraction towards the same sex). So, by nature, a girl can become closer to her Dad and a boy can become closer to his Mom. Ask a Mom. Boys love their Mom’s with more powerful emotions than girls. And while a Mom will love her daughter unconditionally, and in a way a man cannot truly understand because women carry babies in their bodies, a girl still needs Dad to show them, to teach them how a man is supposed to love them. Men teach this through their treatment of their daughters, as well as their treatment of Mom, the man’s Love. A girl will learn what to accept in her future man based on how her Dad treats her Mom, and her, physically and emotionally (and vice versa-same for boys). They will either learn respectable, equal love that comes together, or they will be lost, with little understanding of how to feel complete in life. They will struggle to be happy if they don’t know what love looks like. Dads are most important to their daughters; Moms are most important to their sons.
Dad’s heart belongs to Mom but it is shared with daughter to teach her love so she will understand what to look for in adult-life, in a man, in the heart that will complete hers. And because Mom and Dad must share their hearts with babies, jealousy’s will be felt, especially from babies. A baby will fight to break up parent’s expression of love with each other (such as hugging or kissing), because in their infant eyes, Mom is theirs. A baby boy will look at his Mom as his woman, not Dad’s woman. Sometimes Dad may feel jealous if too much of Mom’s time is spent with babies, and not enough time spent with Dad. It is very important for Moms and Dads to be conscious of this because you must put your spouse first, before children (except if the parent is a step-parent. In this case, children must be put first until strong love is developed between child and step-parent). While a little boy may feel Mom belongs to him, she doesn’t. When Mom wakes up in bed at age 70, she will wake up to her spouse, her Love. Not her son. Mom’s loving Dad’s, and vice versa, shows babies respectable love. Babies feel infatuation towards their parents because they are all feeling (heart) and not much thought (mind). They are all heart before the mind figures things out with age/time. Babies are raw in their emotions while their minds develop through time. If you don’t put your partner first, you will push them away emotionally. Children will always get their love because they demand it with their cries and raw feelings.
To best understand human feelings, we must observe babies over the course of their first 2 years of life outside of their mother. It is this stage that will teach us the most because at birth a baby is all heart, not much mind. And during the first few years, you can see the mind take its first advances and understand the effects on a child’s behavior; i.e., you can understand why the “Terrible 2’s” exist. When a child is first born out of his mother’s womb, he is pure at heart. He displays his emotions without shame. Humans display 4 clear emotions: Happy, Sad, Anger, and Fear. Every individual is different with a unique upbringing, meaning every single person has a unique Nature and Nurture. Some babies may feel more anger than others, or more fear, or more sadness, or more happiness. It’s not a 25% equal distribution of these feelings for everyone. It’ll be different for all but all 4 emotions are present. The differences may be as a result of Mom and Dad’s biology, the emotions Mom felt during pregnancy, and more factors.
When a baby feels fear (natural fears such as falling, loud noises, unfamiliarity, things/people bigger than them), they freeze for a moment. Look at a young child’s face when they are in fear. Adults have felt enough fear (as well as sadness, anger and happiness) to understand how it looks on a child’s face. When fear hits a baby’s heart, shock freezes a child for a very short moment while they try to understand what is going on in the fast, suddenly changing moment, which will be followed by a bodily reaction to run away from fear. Like a falling baby will flail their arms around, trying to save themselves from a fall. Or they’ll run to Mommy when they feel scared of a person they don’t know or are uncomfortable with (or cry until Mommy comes to them because they are stuck in fear). A baby can get away from fear, but sometimes they will still cry as a result of the fear. They cry because they experienced emotional pain enter their heart and that’s the best way they know how to deal with their emotional pain on their own. So why do babies cry?
When a baby feels angered, maybe someone keeps bothering them by continuously nudging them out of their comfort (or for a baby older than 1 year, maybe something was taken away from them), then they will lash out. A baby younger than 1 year will immediately cry out. A baby older than 1 year might pull away, might try to snatch what they want (snatching is a learned behavior adults and older children unconsciously teach – young children are always touching things they shouldn’t be and when a baby gets their hands on cleaner spray, a parent will immediately grab it from the child, snatching what they shouldn’t be touching, unconsciously teaching snatching). Or a baby might verbally express anger with an aggressive groan that communicates their frustration. If you make a baby mad enough, they will cry. Why do babies cry?
When a baby is saddened, like if they find themselves suddenly alone (lonely is a very sad feeling), or if someone yells aggressively at a baby, a baby will cry until their sadness is mended. A lonely baby may cry until they are back in Mom’s arms, or with a heart they are familiar with. Though, sometimes Mom isn’t around and the cries will go on longer, but eventually, the cries will end. But why do babies cry?
Fear, anger, and sadness are 3 (-) negative feelings for babies that lead them to cry. These are emotionally painful; pain in the heart . Now let’s compare this to physical pain. When a baby falls and hurts his physical body, they cry in pain. Mom can pick her baby up to console them but the baby will continue to cry if physical pain is still radiating. Mom’s heart and warmth is powerful in helping baby feel better, but ask a mother, physical pain can be more difficult to soothe than emotional. Think of a baby having a broken finger. A baby will cry uncontrollably no matter how much Mom holds them because when a baby pauses their cries, they still feel the pain of a broken finger. If a baby just fell and lightly bumped his knee, that pain will usually subside within minutes but a broken bone requires medical expertise, expertise most Moms don’t have since most Moms aren’t doctors. This is never the case with emotional pain because that pain lies solely in the heart and the heart of a child (not adult) is easier to mend than a broken finger. And if you pay attention to the differences in cries, if a baby’s finger is broken, crying will be hysterical. Even a hard fall, a hard head bump will display some hysterical crying at first. It will be louder, more powerful than if the pain was emotional, or for lesser physical pain. And the crying will not stop for a broken finger because the pain will continue to be felt until a doctor treats the injured finger. So why do baby’s cry more powerfully for prolonged physical pain?
Babies cry for Happiness. When a baby feels happy, a baby feels great. When you start playing with a baby, a baby is injected with happiness. And they want to keep playing, and keep playing. Adults can barely keep up with a baby’s energy because a baby’s happiness is so raw, exaggerated, and more energy is created within the baby and they want more and more happiness, as if they are chasing a high, a natural high. Happiness is the best feeling for a baby. Think about when a baby learns. When a baby learns, it’s so fulfilling, so uplifting for a small child who wants to be Big. It makes a baby feel so happy, so naturally high, and they want to learn more. Even a simple smile can make a baby happy. And it’s not making a baby happy; it’s creating and injecting your happy energy into their delicate hearts. When a baby is happy, they are furthest away from crying. So, why does a baby cry? To feel happy.
Of a human’s 4 emotions, Sad, Anger and Fear are (-) negative feelings. 1 emotion, Happy, is a (+) positive emotion. Happy is what humans live for. It’s what raw emotional baby’s fight for. So, upon injection of (-), a baby will cry. Why do they cry? They cry because crying feels good when something else is making them feel bad. Think about the broken finger example. When pain is felt, the intensity, the loudness depends on how much pain the baby feels. Sometimes the crying is softer and brief because the pain isn’t so powerful, say for something like a short fall on baby’s knee. But with more pain comes more powerful cries. If a baby has a broken finger, pain will be felt strongly and will not subside without proper medical care. A baby will cry hysterically, unconsolably. Even Mom’s powerful heart can’t mend that pain. So why is a baby crying so powerfully? Because the crying isn’t working and the pain is winning. Crying doesn’t stop because it’s the only thing the baby knows to do to try to defeat the pain.
If a baby is in minor physical pain, and you allow them to cry on their own without adding your heart-power to help healing, you can see how a baby heals themselves. They will cry with power at first, but not hysterically because the cries are doing their job, making baby feel better while the pain takes time to calm. If more pain suddenly is felt, say if Mom aggressively yells at baby, their cry will jump in intensity for that moment to help deal with the extra emotional pain injected into baby, from the yelling, yelling backed up by loudness and emotional frustration/anger ((-) negative energy) directed at baby. When you observe a baby crying for the minor physical pain, over a short time, their cries will progressively weaken. You will notice pauses in a baby’s cries because they end up crying more powerfully than is necessary when pain is diminishing. Think about when you bang your elbow. It is most painful during those first minutes, but as long as nothing is broken or severely damaged, the pain will be less intense after 5 minutes, and even less after 10 minutes. So, let’s say Baby’s pain is at a 5-out-of-10 for the first minute, making them feel bad. Then Baby will cry with a 6-out-of-10 intensity so they feel good, not bad. Crying feels good and pain feels bad. If cries calm to 4-out-of-10 and pain is still at 5, then cries will rise back up over 5. If during the second minute, pain is reduced to 3-out-of-10, then Baby won’t need to cry at an intensity of 6. They can cry at 4. They’ll pause their cries to evaluate their pain and cry more but with less intensity. Crying requires energy and babies don’t expend more energy through crying than is necessary for pain. If they did, they’d cry hysterically for everything, the same whether for a broken finger or an elbow bump. But this isn’t the case because crying has a real purpose; not just to call Mom or be annoying or just being a baby. Cries consistently calm so baby can evaluate pain and cries progressively weaken as pain diminishes. Crying is powerful. It is human power. It helps us feel good when some other force is causing us pain, physically or emotionally.
Unfortunately for babies, as their mind develops, from age 1 and going on age 2, they learn that their cries have another power. They learn that when they cry, it not only heals their pain, or makes them feel good while the pain takes the necessary time to subside. They learn that crying also calls Mommy, or Daddy. It’s when they cry when Mommy holds baby, or feeds baby, or changes baby’s diaper, makes baby feel better than ever. So as a baby grows, as their mind slowly develops, they learn to use, and abuse, their crying power. This drives parents crazy because babies end up crying for nonsense (from adult perspective) reasons. Babies go from crying for need, to crying for needs and wants. This explains the “Terrible 2’s,” which can begin before age 2 and last years while babies cry for everything they want.
At the root, when a baby is most purely heart, at infancy, they only cried when they needed something. To be held, fed, or bodily discomfort (like diaper change, or an itch). A baby’s mind is very young and only understands cry=feel better. Cry=Mommy’s hug, the best place in the world. Later on, cry=food, toys, get-what-I-want. They don’t understand language to ask for what they want. Everybody wants, but babies don’t understand they can’t have everything. They don’t understand they don’t need everything. Think about nosey children who don’t comprehend they don’t need to know everything. They may feel the need to know, but they don’t need to know. But they don’t understand that just like they don’t understand language yet. Baby’s don’t even understand “Ow.” When an older child or adult slams their elbow, they’ll say “Ow,” or “Ouch,” or “Shhhh,” or any verbal expression of pain in response because that’s what we learned while learning language. Sometimes we say “Ow” and pain never comes because pain usually does come when you hit yourself that hard. “Ow” is a learned response, not a natural reaction. The natural response to pain, when a baby hits their elbow, is to cry. Babies communicate through their cries and sometimes it can drive parent’s to moments of stress because too much crying everyday can become annoying. Like, “stop crying” already. “Stop crying” eventually becomes a parent’s response to children crying over everything, whether the cries are truly necessary or not. Need vs. Want isn’t considered. All crying becomes too much because it demands a parent’s time and energy and it is tiring. And it feels like it never ends.
As babies become older and learn language, parents ignorantly tell children to “stop crying.” So, a child can have his feelings hurt, pain injected into their hearts and they cry to feel better. But adults say, “don’t cry,” i.e., don’t make yourself feel better. “Be strong, don’t cry.” This is oxymoronic because crying is the strongest thing the child is doing, using their power to overcome the powerful pain injected into them from the outside world, or from you. Small children may keep crying, but over time, they practice and fight to hold in their cries. They fear the adults/parents/big people yelling at them about crying. They want to be big and strong like the big people in the world, the people in charge, the people they want to be like one day, the big people that don’t cry. Adults forgot why they cried as a baby. They forgot why they cried so much. Through the actions and words of big people, they help train the cries out of children and by the time a child is about age 12 or so, with 8 or so years of practicing holding in cries, fighting to end our cries, a child becomes pretty good at not crying, despite what pain hits them. Humans even lead children to feel ashamed of their cries because “crying is for babies” and children will run and hide to a private place to fight their cries. To fight their power. To lose their power. No one wants to be called a “crybaby” because that’s emotionally painful and embarrassing and might make us cry more and who wants to be the biggest baby? Baby’s don’t want to be baby’s. They want to be big.
I think about the universe, a seemingly endless universe of unimaginably enormous galaxies. We are located in one galaxy, a big explosion of fire, like the fire in your chest when you feel anger, or feel love, spiraling out of control. Our “Milky Way” galaxy is a spiraling fireball, crazy hot at the center as if a zillion stars were bunched up together, where we could never survive (there may be a black hole at the center, but I’m no astrologist, I’m a humanist). Our planet Earth is located towards the outer part of the spiral, where there are less stars around, with one star, our Sun, clearly visible to our eyes. Think about that; our Sun is just one, just 1 of a kazillion. You can’t even imagine how small we are in relation to our galaxy, let alone our universe. Though at the same time, you have no idea how big you are either…
Our galaxy spins like a spiral staying together with gravity, the strength of the center throwing and pulling you/us all. Imagine someone with long hair on their head. If the spin rapidly, their hair will fly away from their head in a circular, spiral motion, but only so far. The hair will not fly away because of the main pull at the scalp. The spin causes the hair to fly away from the head but will remain surrounding the head, where the powerful pull remains. This is what happens in the sky above us. And the sky isn’t just above us; it’s all around us. Our planet is a part of the sky, the universe. Within our universe, there is constant pushing and pulling. Everything is moving around all of us, all the time, because of gravity. It’s why the Earth continuously revolves around the Sun without crashing into the Sun or flying off into space. The Sun is spinning us around, pulling and pushing us in an elliptical motion.
Humans operate in the same way as the universe surrounding us. There is constant pushing and pulling between humans, and if we understand it, if we teach it, everyone will have a better chance at happiness.
In everyone’s family, who you grew up around, as your life goes on, age 5, 6, 7, you had relationships with several people, I hope, and though you may like and love every one of your siblings and Mom and Dad and whoever, there’s always certain people who you gravitate towards. Maybe you saw them as having more in common with you, maybe someone you felt admiration towards, maybe someone you see physically (not sexually) attractive, maybe someone you empathize with and understand. It could be 1 person or more, for different reasons or the same. Of course, Mom has the most powerful natural connection, but we all feel pulled towards others, pushed away from Mom, our Universe, the center of our personal galaxy. We feel attractions towards others and want to visit their world. And from Dad, to siblings, cousins, friends, when you spend time in the same space, it’s like your hearts are playing volleyball, hitting back and forth. When you interact, or when you are just around to observe who people are, you develop feelings for people. My oldest cousin was years older than me, maybe more than 10 years. I barely spoke to her, but I was around her enough when we were younger, at family gatherings, where I had plenty hours of observing her. I’ve had plenty hours observing plenty others, and with that, I’d developed different feelings towards different people. When I was around 5 or 6, I had a crush on my oldest cousin, among others. I loved when she was at a family event I was attending. I loved watching her beauty (overall as a person, not simply physical). She seemed so nice, not loud, gentle, I never heard her say anything mean, she never made me feel bad. She was pretty; I thought she was very pretty. And I wasn’t comparing it back then, but her body, and overall look, was similar than my Mom’s, my first Natural Attraction, just like the other qualities, except I felt Mom was crazier/meaner, but I lived with Mom and our hearts had been pushing and pulling for a lot longer than mine and my cousin’s.
My attraction to my cousin was normal, it was natural, but I was a child who didn’t understand my emotions, so I had a crush. An innocent crush. I was drawn towards her and I wanted to be closer to her. That’s the feeling inside, because that’s my main purpose in life, to feel attractions to figure out which heart I’m supposed to connect with. Push and pull will always be at work and I’ll be pulled stronger at times, and the first attractions we experience are with our family growing up, siblings and cousins and all, the first people we are around. Humans get to practice attraction at innocent ages, Protected by Adults, to prepare you for future love. And adults must teach Familial Respect and Boundaries. Adults must teach boys how to protect girls physically, making sure no one puts hands on them, including them. Adults must teach girls how to protect boys emotionally by calming us down when we get too crazy emotionally, putting too much negative energy into the world.
With my crush on my cousin, my pull came from my chest. It was emotional, not sexual. But as those early ages go by, humans experience bodily changes. A child hits puberty and goes on a physical and emotional rollercoaster within themselves. Their juices begin to flow and they’re hit with all sorts of stronger feelings, stronger pulls, stronger love, and stronger pushes, stronger anger, hate, powerful feelings that no young child could hold or handle. As I went through puberty, beginning around age 10, sexual feelings began entering my body. Sexual thoughts entered my mind. I didn’t feel cravings to sleep with my cousin. As a young boy, sexual feelings aren’t as extreme as they are for adults. Puberty is a rollercoaster. Adult men are just horn dogs who never understood their feelings so they became controlled by feelings they never took control of themselves. I did feel sexual attractions towards extended family (not my cousin, maybe because I didn’t really see her much as time went by) that I felt ashamed about and confused about because I understood, thanks to my upbringing, that you respect family. The world is way too big for incest to be an option. But before, my attractions were strictly on an emotional, respectable level. Now that I was going through puberty, I was feeling sexual attractions/cravings towards girls I knew I should never be with. I felt so much shame about some of the sexual thoughts that ran through my mind. My shame was unnecessary; I just didn’t understand my Humanity.
From ages 0 to 9, humans learn to love people and allow themselves to be pulled to people based on who a person is within and without. Their attractions are influenced by their first attractions, first their Mom, emotionally and physically. A child will not walk up to someone they are not comfortable with, unless sometimes if you take advantage of a child’s stronger craving, like with sugar. A child might go to someone they feel discomfort with because of the stronger pull they feel towards the candy or ice cream a stranger is offering because at the moment, they are driven by a stronger emotion that consumes them. Their minds aren’t developed enough where they can put puzzle pieces together and realize that when they get the ice cream and that craving calms, they will then be filled by the discomfort of being with someone who they are uncomfortable with. Babies are easily distracted. Their attention can be shifted easily if the shift in attention injects a strong enough emotion that overtakes the previous one. For example, when my wife leaves the home, my 20-month-old boy will cry because Mommy left. If I take his toy baseball bat and hit a ball, his cries suddenly stop and he comes to get the bat to hit the ball himself. It can be that easy to shift his attention and emotions because of his young mind. When a child sees he is in arms of discomfort, with someone they feel fear with, they cry to get away, to push.
And here’s a little parenting tip: when your baby is crying from a minor fall or something, I have found one of the best ways to shift his attention, and help calm cries, is to give your baby a small piece of ice. Of course, I wouldn’t give an infant ice. You have to make sure they’re not young enough where they will choke. And I also wouldn’t go ice-crazy because you don’t want to drown a baby with water every day or have your baby crying for ice all the time. A small piece of ice is an effective way to calm a 1-year-old’s cries.
Children develop their attractions based on those they grew up with, for better or worse. It’s not until around the age of 9 or 10 when children begin experiencing sexual changes in their bodies. The reason why sexual feelings don’t come sooner is because humans are emotional. Emotions drive us to our actions. We do things because we feel like doing them. You feel mad if you don’t get the cookie as a 20-month-old, and you pout, express frustration on your face, as if you forgot everything I’ve done for you your entire life, carrying you, caring for you, everything, plus all the previous cookies I gave you. And then I can pick up a ball and throw it and you might be happy again, playing. Or then I can grab the baseball bat, you can’t resist that, and then you’re definitely good. You forgot Mom left and you’re happy again.
Humans are so emotional and we are Reactionary. We feel emotions and we react. As babies, if we feel sad, angry, afraid, then we cry. If we feel physical pain, we cry. As babies grow, through the actions of adults, young children learn to react verbally and physically. Children aren’t taught to take time with their emotions, as they should be. They should be encouraged to cry, to allow time to pass to calm down, and to add that feeling to their previous life of feelings, and then new feelings develop based on considering many pieces. It’s why babies cry over everything because they don’t know how to pause and understand the situation further. They don’t know how to open their minds to consider other factors and feelings. They are consumed with the moment, unconscious of everything Mom does for her baby. Babies are sensitive and feel feelings powerfully.
The way adults teach children is the way they learn; if we teach to hit when mad, that’s what they do, just like if you teach them to say, “Ow,” or whatever you say. In my world, this is what big humans do; people don’t understand what they are doing so don’t feel too bad, but we unconsciously teach children how to respond to their emotions in a detrimental way. We teach yelling/hitting when angry. We try to push people to face fears without understanding their fears to help them understand it. We don’t teach children how to react in fear, which leaves all children, especially little girls, incredibly vulnerable. And in sadness, we teach children to hide sadness. Adults try to shield their children from pain by not exposing their own sadness because of a belief that it will cause the child pain, but that is not the entire picture. It’s just a piece. Of course a child will feel pain when their parent exposes pain to them but it teaches a child it’s okay to feel bad, it’s okay to cry. It teaches them about their parent’s Humanity, that they are very alike, more than a child previously realized. Seeing a parent in pain helps a child comprehend that others are in pain too. It teaches them empathy. Unselfishness. So yes, exposing your sadness to a child will cause them emotional pain but it will also inject a child with emotional intelligence. Children need to see and feel their parent’s sadness because, well, how else will they learn to empathize with Mom’s pain? Babies learn to empathize when their Loves, the people they feel heart connections to, are in emotional pain because their hearts are more in tune with their Loves. It’s why death hits Loves so powerfully, versus another human who is not emotionally involved with a certain person’s death. If adults cry, they cry behind closed doors, and whenever I see people cry, in front of me or on T.V., there’s always a natural reaction to hold the cry in. Cries are always fighting their way out. This isn’t a natural reaction, it’s a trained reaction. That feeling inside of you that always pulls a cry back in, the immediate calming of rising sadness, that’s a reaction you spent years practicing, to have as much control over rising cries that you do today. As a child, we learned to hold in our cries when the adults didn’t cry, and everybody attributes crying to babies, to babies who want to be big, accepted as big, crybabies, and all the “stop crying!” “be strong, don’t cry,” “it’s okay, don’t cry.” So, what? Don’t cry because it’s embarrassing? What a terrible message. Unfortunately, children believe what they are told without much question. Humans are born gullible, which is why you can scare a child easily with things like imaginary ghosts and monsters, or have them believe in anything, like a god no child understands. So, we kept fighting our cries as children, regardless of where the pain came from, until we gained control and forgot how to cry like that little baby who cried sometimes for no reason, the baby who knew how to cry for a cookie. We didn’t gain control of our cries. We lost control because we forgot how to cry. We don’t understand our emotions of Anger, Sadness, and Fear as adults so we don’t teach them, and a chaotic human cycle of unnecessary pain continues. Pain that keeps us from happiness.
Humans are reactionary and we become consumed with current emotions. If you’d had your heart broken, it hurts more in the moment it shattered than 5 years later. If you bang your elbow, it hurts more in the moment than it does 5 minutes later. Through time, emotions blend with others. Another purpose in life is to fill your heart with more (+) positive feelings, which is why you gravitate toward people giving off (+) energy, people who make you feel good. Because we remain ignorant and divided, humans tend to allow themselves to be pulled back into the arms of people who inevitably cause them pain and push them away. Ignorant adults go back because the feelings of love are so powerfully intoxicating, too strong for them to be able to consider all of the pieces to the puzzle. It’s not so different than why a young child may not feel his feelings of fear for a stranger as powerful as his craving for ice cream. You can’t help but indulge in the brief satisfaction. But if you keep trying to connect where there is too much push, you will never fulfill the feeling of completeness. You will never feel whole. Humans need help understanding what’s going on in the hearts and they need others to help pull them away, towards others, away from sadness. Relationships ending shouldn’t be dealt with alone.
Because humans are emotional and reactionary, and because love is so powerful, nature gives humans time for the mind to develop, to acquire a basic understanding of their emotions, to begin learning unselfishness/empathy. Nature doesn’t allow sexual feelings to begin development until after about 9 or 10 years because if it did, 3-,4-, 5-year-old children would be walking around sexually aroused because they are purer emotionally. They get hit harder, which is why they cry over what we perceive to be for nothing. This 10-year wait is no accident.
The first 14 years of every child’s life are critical. Their love for their mother, and understanding themselves will set them up to make their own decisions in all relationships, their friendships, or more or less. I fell in love at age 15, but I was ignorant about love. The world didn’t teach me about my emotions, about my love/connection to my Mom, my feelings I felt ashamed about. Most every boy goes through a phase where he feels embarrassed if the world saw how much love he shared with his Mommy. A young teen can feel ashamed about his sexual attraction towards a cousin, but puberty is a rollercoaster of emotions to be understood through education. A 12-year-old child knows almost nothing about love, or the world, especially in today’s ignorant world. A 12-year-old child learned to hold in his cries through unconscious learning, but doesn’t understand how to use his conscious mind; most adults don’t either. A child doesn’t know that attractions will be felt in many directions at different strengths. He doesn’t understand that you can make a mental decision to try to be closer to 1 person, to attempt a journey to connect, a journey to the real LOVE we don’t understand exists. Do we really understand where love between 2, where 2 combining into 1, can go? A child doesn’t understand that, similar to it taking him years to hold in his natural cries, it will take time to gain control of his natural attractions towards many women (or men). It will take time to get to a place where you can easily pull only 1 person and push all others. We will always feel attractions by nature, but you can train the mind to only allow yourself to be pulled towards others to a certain point, always strongly pulled towards your 1-and-only, always pushed away from others. You will pull others naturally but must always be pushing to keep at respectable distance. Love is a mental process that must be continuously consciously worked on to protect LOVE, and to hopefully eventually connect. You can’t connect if you allow yourself to be pulled in other directions.
I didn’t only crush on 1 older cousin; I crushed on plenty extended family, schoolmates, or random girls at the park, or wherever. I wasn’t taught love so I didn’t respect it at age 15, and I had my mind focused in more directions than my girlfriend, and our hearts suffered. We were in love but ignorant of love. We were never educated by an ignorant world who didn’t understand how to protect its children, with knowledge. They didn’t teach me love like they didn’t teach me how to react to fear/discomfort by voicing my discomfort, by running away from discomfort, or by screaming/crying. They taught me to be quiet, to hold in my cries. Unprotected children become victims. They taught me to yell when I was angry (fortunately, I was taught to keep my hands to myself, never fight) and many are taught to hit when they’re angry, rather than calming anger down and to find out people’s honest intentions . I wasn’t taught to communicate my pain to people, to get away from people who keep injecting me with more pain, or just can’t understand how not to inject me with pain. I was taught to hold in my cries, that only babies cry, to be a Man, that crying was weakness and I wanted to be strong. I held in my cries and my pain, and with all of this miseducation, I became angrier.
I was mad at myself and the world because I didn’t stop that girl from kissing me because I froze, and I was never taught/trained how to react in fear. I even accepted going out with a few girls because I didn’t know how to say, “no.” I was mad at myself and the world for my yelling at my wife in anger, injecting her with sadness, and anger, and then I became sadder, and then we both became meaner to each other because feelings are contagious. I was mad at myself and the world for the pain I injected after feeling heartbreak, instead of expressing my heartbreak, and searching for more puzzle pieces to understand that the intention was never my hurting heart, that someone else had emotions I didn’t understand, as a naturally selfish individual, who only truly knows my heart. Living in this unconscious/ignorant way led to me being an angrier human. We are all angrier than we should be. We are all angry by nature as humans but a human race with greater knowledge and practice of love and humanity will result in a happier world.
Children must learn their feelings/emotions growing up, should be taught continuously and when preteen/young teen ages come along, 10-14, there must be continuous education on Love as it relates to sexual attraction. And because we don’t educate properly and children remain ignorant, attractions hit hard and some children go touching other people without permission, not respectful of the possible discomfort, fear, (-) negative emotions injected into another. People are selfishly consumed with their emotions and don’t consider another’s. Just because you want to pull someone close, doesn’t mean they want to be pulled close. Just because you want to touch someone, doesn’t mean they want to be touched.
We’re not taught empathy efficiently. People don’t know how to keep their hands to themselves because adults don’t protect children. Parents let whoever touch their children because they don’t understand they’re not protecting them. You should never let your baby cry in someone’s arms, even your mother’s, a baby’s grandmother (hey, if the baby isn’t crying then all is good). Allow a baby time to warm up. Don’t force babies to cry through discomfort. Instead, humans are forced into discomfort, forced to greet people, accept being touched by older people even when children aren’t going up to any of them adults to touch any of them. A young child should never be touched in any way by an adult before the child is comfortable enough to go near the adult, touch the adult. Say “hi” and move it along. Who wants to be stared at and have their face grabbed and passed around to unfamiliar world’s when you’re comfortably complete in Mom’s world?
Through a child’s time, they will gravitate towards those who they feel attraction towards. Mom’s, hold your babies close. And People, keep your hands off of babies and children, unless your protecting them from danger, fear that is stronger than their discomfort with you at the moment. People need to learn Human Respect. When a child is touched uncomfortably by an adult, young children fight, they react, cry to get away, but over time, people touch my head and my parents didn’t say anything, and as a weak child afraid of the louder, bigger, stronger adults, I didn’t say anything about my feelings and I moved on, eventually learning how to deal, how to accept, but still, discomfort remains. I really don’t like being touched by people who don’t know me like that.
Little girls are painfully unprotected because sometimes, older men (and women) who know nothing about their sexual attractions, because they grew up in an ignorant world, some take advantage of a young girl’s vulnerability and do sexual things, as far as raping little girls, and what can a young girl do against a grown man to protect herself? Nothing but maybe scream and adults don’t even teach that, leaving girls stuck in shock. And depending on how young the girl is, some may not even have the mental capacity to understand how wrong the situation is in the moment, but the shame will chase them throughout their lives, an unprotected child with more pain and anger that she doesn’t understand. In a male-dominated ignorant world or emotions, men have no idea the feelings girls feel, getting uncomfortably grabbed. The first time a girl is touched in a way she feels uncomfortable, she knows it’s wrong based on the feeling in her heart, a feeling a young mind has trouble interpreting, especially when their gullibility is taken advantage of. Adults can tell children most anything and they’ll believe words over feelings. The truth is in her heart. But her mind is young and doesn’t fully understand to obey her feelings of alert.
When you feel that first discomfort, and no parent, no one protects you, you learn that this is something that happens in the world. You fight your discomfort, hold in your pain, and try to numb yourself to the feeling, a survivalist reaction so you don’t go crazy with all the (-) negative feelings. All women learn to accept a certain level of physicality from men. Men don’t keep their hands to themselves. I know the truth, I’ve been watching the world and I’m watching men put hands on women before and a lot more than the other way around. And be clear, the other way around is wrong too, but men are clearly the driving force of this problem. Men become animals without proper education on their humanity. They feel cravings and they react, ignorant on how to control and understand their feelings, and how to respect humanity and love. Instead, they inject pain into the world, into a child’s world. Little boys are victimized too, but girls are so much more in danger. Women need to protect all girls.
Women are supposed to protect all children from men as the beings with more emotional intelligence. Women are nurturers with greater understanding of a child’s emotions and must protect children and men. Men are physical protectors and with that, their intelligence is greater in the mental area because they must always be quick to figure out ways to protect their family. Men=Mind. Women=Heart. Men protect the exterior body, women protect the interior. Women have mental intelligence just as men have emotional intelligence, but we all have a strength, complimentary to each other, set up to succeed together, not separately/divided, or by one person taking the lead. Men should not be leading our world. Men and women must lead in their responsibilities determined by nature, the honest feelings in your heart and what makes sense in the mind. We are not designed to do it alone and I couldn’t have figured any of this out without my wife, my equal partner, both of our honest emotions and intelligences coming together. The more emotions dominate a situation, the more in control I must allow my wife to be, and she must step up. The more strategy, mind puzzle, critical thinking a situation is, the more in control I must be and I must step up. In all situations, both inputs are necessary for best results.
Everyone must understand that all girls have a natural fear towards men. All boys have this fear too, but it’s different because boys become men. Girls become women who are still physically smaller than men. A girl’s natural fear towards men is that simple: it’s because men are bigger. Men can physically impose their will at any time. And this is a point of being a big man, to be physically imposing. Not to use their physical power against their Loves or women who can’t protect themselves. Men are supposed to be the Protector, not the Abuser. Men are supposed to be able to use their intelligent mind to put the sometimes-wild-and-crazy heart feelings in perspective. Men never need to put violent hands on anyone because their powerful voice, their tone, is strong enough (and you don’t have to yell loudly to use a powerful tone; just talk deeply and sincerely showing powerful disappointment/frustration/anger in your voice).
It’s difficult for humans to discipline children when they don’t understand themselves, let alone their children. Especially for young children who don’t understand an adult’s language, language that adults seem to expect children to understand. Adults get angry when they have to repeat themselves because they don’t understand a child. A child is always living in the moment, not considering the past. Their understanding of time is nonexistent. My 10-year-old hates going to bed every night because he doesn’t completely comprehend how much time he has each day, every day (he doesn’t even understand taking 15 minutes to clean his room will save him hours of punished playtime. And it’s my job to not go crazy with punishments, to focus on teaching him time). And because children don’t understand time, because they want to be doing what they want all the time when Mommy wants to rest, the best way to punish a child is to take their precious time away. “Timeout” is a powerful tool, though at the same time, we must be conscious of the fact that time if different for a child. An adult standing in timeout for an hour might feel the same as 10 minutes for a child who can’t tell the difference anyway. So, you shouldn’t be keeping a child in timeout for too long because it’s unnecessary. It’s torturous. The point of timeout is not only to punish a child by taking him away from fun/happiness, but it also allows time for a child to think about his actions. Children spend more time moving and talking than thinking. And all children will act up. “Timeout” allows for a child to be punished and to mentally grow.
I understand that regardless of how I feel about physical discipline, that certain parents will believe in what they know, but I do believe there’s a difference between physical discipline and beating a child’s ass. Furthermore, as I said, men should never have to use their physicality unless necessary because they are forced to protect someone or something under attack. But if a man wants to put hands on his sons, fine. But I stress that no man, no father should put hands on his daughter, or any woman. Women should ensure this. When a man disciplines his daughter, he sends a message that there are times when it may be necessary for a man to impose his physical will on a woman. But if a man never puts his hands on any woman, he sends a message that there is never a moment when a man should put his hands on a woman, and that’s the message we should send little girls so they don’t become women who accept that disrespect. You women who have accepted men putting their hands on you are wrong for accepting it and your daughters might feel the same feelings you felt. Just as all humans need to learn how to protect children and love, women especially need to learn how to protect their daughters because these boys growing up in this ignorant world become physical and emotional abusers that should not be accepted.
Men in my world terrorize women physically and emotionally. Men hit women who can’t defend themselves because men don’t know what to do with their anger. They learned what they were taught, what they saw growing up, and/or, they never learned to understand their emotions so they don’t know what to do with their anger. It’s always wrong to become physically aggressive with anyone who hasn’t agreed to become physical. The only fights that should happen are between 2 people who both agree to fight. Other than that, what’s the point of fighting? To release anger you don’t understand? And it’s not like the better person will always win the fight. The better fighter on that day will win and it can be the good guy or bad guy. A fight never determines who is right. Fighting is pointless, unless you’re fighting for money (i.e., boxing or MMA).
Emotionally, men are just terrible. Men use their powerful voices to yell at, or speak aggressively at women, using their physical stature to inject fear, injecting women with (-) negative emotions that men don’t understand because they are men. Men don’t feel as much pain as women feel, because women are more heart. Men need to understand the pain they inject into women and women need to help men to understand. This isn’t happening today and it pisses me off because women go through so much pain to the point they accept being put down, or maybe they don’t accept it, but they emotionally shut down and it pushes them away from their potential Love, preventing them from their purpose in life to connect to another. I mean, this is the reason why women accept men cheating on them, but men won’t accept a woman cheating. Men are more prone to cheating because of their nature of being more mind than heart. Usually, a woman will cheat for emotional reasons and of course it’s wrong. You should leave a relationship before you cheat. But with men, men are more mind, more physical, and sexual attraction is more physical than emotional for them. Because of this, men will cheat because they don’t understand their natural attractions, and how to manage them in a respectful way to their relationships. And they don’t understand that sex is not the end game, that connecting hearts is. Because we live in an ignorant world and all men are dogs and all men cheat, well, women learn to accept it and men don’t learn how to respect their Love, and both women and men don’t know how to protect their Love. And if you think you can keep cheating a secret, well, you have a lot to learn about the heart. The heart knows things that the mind doesn’t and the hearts will not connect if a Love isn’t true.
The problem in my world is that humans don’t know who they are. Humans don’t understand their connection to their universe, let alone their own Mom, their first love. Boys and girls don’t understand their attractions to their Mom and Dad, their first “crush.” Humans don’t remember why they cried so much as a child. They spend years holding back what continues to fight out naturally. Crying feels a lot better than the pain. Crying relieves pain, our most powerful force against pain. Humans learn to hold in cries, forget how to deal with pain, and built-up pain becomes anger. Humans are not prepared to deal with fear. They’re not trained to react to fear, to unfamiliar situations, and in this unprotected world where big people prey on small people, everyone finds themselves freezing at fear instead of taking sudden actions to protect themselves from resulting pain. I mean, 100 people will see violence or hear violence and nobody will move, all frozen in time. And they’ll move on as long as it doesn’t affect them. Unless you join the military, where they train the fear out of you, humans get no necessary education on their fear. Humans learn through trial-and-error and feel plenty regret, realizing what they could’ve done after the fact. The world doesn’t protect children from being prey and it doesn’t even teach them how to respond to fear. Some feel anger at our unprotection, angry that we were victimized, and angry at ourselves because of what we realized we should’ve done. We don’t know how to deal with fear or pain and it became anger and we’re already angry by nature. And the way we learn to deal with anger is to lash out, physically and verbally, and humans just become filled with so much anger, we don’t know what to do but scream our brains out, and plenty worse. People feel angry and let their anger out on others, sometimes their own children, and then others become angry and send it back because emotions are contagious. Because of how we learn to deal with our natural emotions, there is so much violence between humans. People are not taught humanity so their actions become inhumane.
When I began my relationship at age 15, I needed to understand that my girlfriend had no ill will towards me; she wasn’t ever intentionally trying to hurt my feelings in any way. She fell in love with me and wanted to be with me but we were 2 teens uneducated about Love. If she ever hurt my feelings, I was supposed to go to her and express them, and see how she reacts. Hopefully she’d feel bad, she’d empathize, she’d apologize for hurting my feelings, explain to me where she was coming from, her honest intentions, and through this communication, I can forgive and move on. Instead, if I felt emotional pain, I kept it inside, allowing it to harbor into anger towards my girlfriend and eventually, I’d throw the anger back in her direction, where we’d get lost in a cycle of trading pain. I wasn’t taught about my emotions to even communicate them and I definitely wasn’t taught much about honest communication because the whole world is full of bullshit lies and half-truth’s. Nobody’s being completely honest because everyone wants to spare feelings of discomfort. People won’t even tell people about the booger in their nose, or that their fly is open. But you must push through the discomfort to get to a more comfortable place. I should’ve been taught to express my emotions so they didn’t become buried anger. If I was taught Love appropriately, I’d understand that I should always give my girlfriend the benefit of the doubt, because I have to trust that she never acts with the intention to hurt me. If she did, I shouldn’t be with her. The only way I’ll find out her true intentions is by expressing my pain and evaluating how she acts in similar situations as the relationship goes on. Sometimes we allow words to pull us back in but we must make sure we allow time to evaluate change because saying isn’t doing.
Humans need to learn to communicate with honesty, express your pain, understand a person’s true intention, and then you can decide to forgive and keep pulling, or accept the pain/anger and push yourself away from more potential pain. Humans need to understand this stuff because it’s the worst feeling to unintentionally push Loves away because you don’t know how to control your emotions. People are always pushing people away that they don’t mean to, and it depresses people. It’s especially depressing when it’s loving parents pushing their children away because loving parents just needed some help to understand Humanity, and it’s so sad when loving parents inject pain into their children, pain they had no true intention of injecting. Children suffer. Parents suffer. Everybody loses Loves. Everybody feels alone. And everybody feels depressed. You may not need medication for depression, and no one should ever take a pill to be happier, but every adult and many children are depressed. It’s not constant depression; it’s occasional depression. But it’s depression nonetheless and it sucks and its mostly because humans don’t understand their Humanity. Humans don’t understand how to be happy. So, everybody’s occasionally depressed.
By the time humans become horny teens who mostly make their own decisions, well, look around. Look at how disrespectful, loud, and immature teens behave today. There is little respect. Horny boys can’t keep their hands off girls, but what can a girl do? Girls are getting raped and in our justice system, there’s not much they can do when it’s he said/she said, or when the court wants to force a victim in the same room as her rapist, to be stared down, to be injected with more and more (-) negative energy. Humans don’t understand themselves so the system is not designed based on human nature. I mean, how can we have a statute of limitations on rape? You know how? Because men have been ruling and men wrote the laws and the U.S. Constitution, the same men who prey on women, using their physical stature and power to enforce their will. The same men who know that their victims will tremble in fear at their sight, so every accuser must face their accused because women don’t want to face their rapists. Why aren’t we protecting Human hearts? Some people view our U.S. Constitution as being some holy document but how great can the constitution be when it was put together by white slaveholder men? Men who raped women, women who had no rights in a court of law? How great can it be when it separately had to give black people freedom (on paper) 100 years after it was written? And then give women freedom (on paper) 50 years after that? How great can it be when it had no real influence from women?
It’s relatively easier (yet, very difficult) to deal with the emotions of fear, sadness, and anger than it is to deal with feelings of Love and Hate (pain associated with Love). These teens were never taught how to handle their sadness and anger, and now they’re dealing with Love and still, humans aren’t taught about Love. Teens will feel sexual attractions everywhere towards all ages but they must be understood and controlled. They should be encouraged to explore their sexuality with their own hands, to understand their body (masturbation and exploration). And they should be encouraged to look past sexual attraction and search for emotional attractions. If people want to have sex all over the place, that’s fine, as long as they understand what they’re doing. Sex will never complete the heart, only an emotional connection will.
I was an angry 15-year-old in love, and I almost lost my Love because I didn’t understand it. I didn’t learn to embrace it until I was age 26, almost too late. But my Granpa never understood love and lost his Love. My father never understood love and lost his Love. Most of my world doesn’t understand where love can lead to if it is understood, respected and protected, because they don’t know what it looks like, or feels like.
This is what needs to be taught about Love: every child’s first love is Mom. You’re first emotionally loving “crush” is your Mom or Dad, or maybe a big brother or sister. Little girls should be watching Daddy never yell at Mommy, never put hands violently on Mommy. They should watch Daddy loving Mommy and taking care of her, and vice versa. Daddy’s should love their daughter’s, should innocently crush on their daughters. Daddy should never physically discipline daughter because that shows them that there is never a situation where it should be accepted for men to be violent with women. Daddy should take their little girls on dates, and if you have multiple daughters, you should take the time to have one-on-one dates, as if you were on a date with your wife, staring into that little girl’s eyes with all your love, making them feel as if they are the only one in your life, the way you’d want a man to see them, to treat them. Men must show little girls how their future men should respect them and love them through words, but more importantly, actions. Girls must learn how to be respected and demand respect, instead of getting lost in fear when a boy grabs their ass, instead of accepting any disrespect from any boy or man. If a father isn’t around to teach his daughter love, how will she learn how a man should treat them?
Young humans should have a foundation of how to handle sad, anger, fear and even happiness. Because humans are reactionary, and the immediate feeling of the emotion consumes you, every feeling, even happiness will be felt exaggerated at the beginning. This is why you should try to not take strong actions or say strong words during emotional times, regardless of the emotion. You could be extra happy for winning money, buy drinks for everybody, swipe your card for the food, then the next morning you’re like, “what was I thinking, buying everything?” I did too much based on my immediate current emotions of heightened happiness, a situation I was not mentally prepared for. If I let myself dwell on my happiness, let time pass, I wouldn’t have been so frivolous with my money. And the most important one to remain conscious of is anger. That’s because reactions to anger are what gets us most into trouble. We do and say things we always regret. Some humans like to hold on to the fact they “don’t regret a thing” because they learned from their mistakes. And I understand where you all are coming from but I’m telling you, we all live with regret. You shouldn’t have to learn every single thing by trial-and-error. We should’ve been educated properly. I’m telling you here, that from now on, try to always remain as calm as possible the moment the most anger begins to rise, at least to the point of becoming physically violent or verbally aggressive, intimidating. IT’S THAT SERIOUS. CALM ANGER. Any immediate reactions are amplified and should always be regretful. Why? Because you should regret those powerful (-) negative emotions you sent into another heart, a heart that doesn’t understand your intentions, that only feels the pain of your aggression. And then you get mad when you get hit with (-). And then the cycle goes on… I’m not saying you can completely control it now. But anger will always be our downfall. (+) Happiness is Life.
We learn love first with Mom. Happiness, Sadness, Fear, Anger. Then sexual emotions enter the body. The inner fight to deal with emotions becomes more difficult. We’ve had attractions all of our lives and sexual feelings makes our attractions stronger. At age 14, my sexual attraction was so powerful I was willing to have sex with any girl I felt physically attracted to. I wasn’t worrying about my emotional attraction because I was so horny. (Hey, we must be honest if we want to move forward.) But an emotional connection is so much more important than physical. Humans believe sex is the major step, that sex is getting to Home Plate. But that’s because we don’t understand Humanity and Love. Sex is 3rd base. It’s a powerful tool to help you get to Home Plate, which is where we begin, right? Hitting at Home Plate. And where did we begin? We didn’t begin at having sex, at being sexually satisfied. We began as one heart feeling complete with Mom’s heart, emotionally satisfied. Watch a baby sleeping in Mom’s arms, against Mom’s heart, and they appear to be in a different world, a most happy place that certainly isn’t here in this Angry world of Occasional Depression. Home plate is the complete feeling of 2 hearts becoming 1, 2 people finding Love, never to be alone. That’s the goal. To leave Mom and find the person who will complete your heart. You are half and must find your One Love to feel whole.
When 2 people decide to date, it should be understood by both sides what is wanted, honestly, whether just a sexual relationship or more, or less. And no matter the relationship, emotions will always increasingly be a factor the more time 2 people spend in the same space, hearts bouncing back and forth. 2 people should come together because of attraction, because of pull on both sides, physical and limited emotional, but any sexual relationship should be put on hold. (And understand, it’s more important to have the emotional pull because through emotional attraction, people can become physically attracted. But you can’t develop emotional attraction based on physical attraction. Physical attraction is determined by emotional attraction which is why pretty people become uglier in our eyes when they are negative people giving off (-) negative energy. I don’t exactly understand it, but my wife has become so incredibly attractive in my eyes. I always saw her as beautiful but today, it’s on another level. She’s more perfect than perfect and I definitely didn’t feel this way 10 years ago, or even 3 years ago. Love is truly more mental than we realize.) You’ve reached 1st base when you begin dating someone you feel attraction towards. Through time, you get to know each other, and when you make emotional connections, which you can feel warmly in a hug, you’ve reached 2nd base. There are so many connections to make, a lifetime of course. Just look at the average life span, 75 years. That’s a lot of time because there’s a lot to feel. The hope is that 2 people understand how to protect their love, how to advance their love. Then they will be best prepared to be on their journey to 3rd base, to physical expression of emotional love. And through continued expression of physical and emotional love, through all the different, otherworldly Loving connections you must feel to imagine, the hope is that you eventually connect. There’s an unimaginable feeling out there and it’s when 2 hearts become 1. I promise, it’s real. Everyone will have their own beliefs/feelings for how soon they would be ready before engaging in a physical relationship. In my opinion, I would say people should wait at least until sometime after the honeymoon phase has ended. It all depends on how an individual relationship progresses.
In a relationship, you will spend much time in the same space together, where your hearts will bounce back and forth, and should bounce both ways. For example, my little sister grew up in a household with 3 older brothers, and through time, she’ll have good times with each of us. The good times result in the hearts pulled closer. She may see a quality that attracts her, maybe my big brother showed strength, or my little brother made everyone laugh, qualities that may appeal to her. With that, she will feel an emotional pull. But let’s say she gets in an argument with one of us, or sees one of us do something like hit a boy or yell at a girl, actions that she may feel unattractive towards. Then she will feel emotionally pushed away. The more time spent together, the more push and pull will be felt. My sister is very protective of her brothers because we were her first attractions, her first boyfriends, theoretically speaking: Innocent Love, Natural Attraction. But years later, she may be closer to one of us versus another because the attractions from both sides are more in line, more overall “net pull” with siblings. It takes years to get to know another person (think about how much you really didn’t even know your siblings. I’m still learning about mine) and the same will be for the relationship to find your One Love. So if you begin a physical relationship too soon, before you allow enough push and pull, you leave yourself in a vulnerable position. Emotional love is easier to deal with than sexual love. That’s why we don’t deal with sexual love before age 10. Sex can be great with a person who you dislike. Many relationships don’t encounter true testing of an emotional push until after a sexual relationship has begun. There’s always more pull at the beginning of a relationship because everyone’s on their best behavior, with the known attractions being the bulk of shared emotions, feeling such strong pull. It’s intoxicating. Emotional love is harder to establish than sexual love which is why I feel people should take their time getting to know someone before you jump in bed. You should take some time to allow strong push to be felt, because through conflict you can learn a lot more about a person, and it’s a great test of communication, one of the most important things for a successful relationship. Hey, everyone makes mistakes and you don’t want to be with someone who never apologizes or who you can’t even have a healthy argument towards a better place, to a place of greater pull.
After a sexual relationship is established, it can be difficult to get out of a relationship no matter how much push is felt. Despite maybe feeling pushed far away, the powerful pull of sex can trap you and pull you back just to be pushed away again. You keep going back for the momentary satisfaction of the ice cream. And you will inevitably be pushed in this world when all these children in love don’t understand love, don’t know how to embrace love.
Love is as much in the mind as it is in the heart. Your heart will feel love naturally and we must work our minds to understand it and protect it. Before I fell in love at age 15, I spent 15 years being selfish. I only held my heart and only I felt all I had felt. I was in love with my first love, my Mom, but she wasn’t my love. I had to go out into the world to find my love. I felt attractions to many humans, boys and girls, nonsexual attractions that determined my friends and those people who I gravitated towards, no matter what age. I could always say whether a man is physically attractive in my eyes without wanting a man sexually, just as I can do with a woman, just as I can do with all my siblings. Sexual attraction and physical attraction are 2 different things and you homophobic men (or men confused about their feelings and sexuality within an ignorant world) need to grow the hell up and stop being so ashamed and ignorant about your truth. When a man says, “that’s a good man,” he feels an emotional attraction towards that man because saying “he’s a good man” is like saying “he has a good heart,” which your heart felt attracted to. Attractions are felt by all men and women towards both men and women. If “heterosexual” men felt no attraction towards other men, then they’d never know how to love their Dad’s, or son’s, and they’d never have male friends because there’s nothing pulling your heart towards men. But obviously this isn’t the case so suck up the truth and get past your insecurities with knowledge of yourself, Men. Use your minds to understand your truth.
At my beginning, I never left my Mom’s side. But when I could walk and go on my own, I felt attractions as a 1-year-old and went to play with another boy or girl. As a Human driven by my heart, not of the mind as my mind was at early development, conscious of very little, I had no idea what Mom was feeling when she watched her baby boy take interest in another little girl, or big girl. Like some babies may like Grandma more than Mom, and Mom’s feel emotional pain regardless of the situation because they’re watching their love with another. Moms are so protective of their babies, especially the boys; always skeptical about the women who they involve themselves with. As a baby, I felt my heart pull towards others and now I wasn’t spending 24/7 with Mom. So while I’m being pulled towards others, I am being pushed away from Mom. This is what is supposed to happen naturally. All Mom’s naturally go through ongoing emotional pain as they watch their babies grow, emotionally and physically away from Mom. And you don’t lose emotion from Mom, but before, Mom was getting 100% of your emotional love which dwindles over time as we share more of our love with the world outside of Mom, resulting in less of our love for Mom. This hurts single mothers the most because they don’t have the love of their own to make them feel complete. This is why some women who feel alone in the world have babies because they want to have something they can call their own. Unfortunately, this is only a temporary solution because a woman in this case is satisfying her emptiness with a baby who will only help her feel closer to whole for a short period of time, until babies go off on their own to find their love, and Mom is left alone again. Only finding One Love can lead to a complete feeling. Unfortunately, in my world, it’s a lot easier to have a baby than to find One Love. We don’t have to teach having a baby; we have to teach Love. We all need someone to hold, someone to hold us like Mom did, to call our own. But as a heart-driven child, I had no consciousness of Mom’s feelings. If I made a close friend, and then felt a stronger attraction towards another friend, and spent more time with another friend, then I’m pushing my close friend away emotionally, but I’m a child unconscious of other emotions. I don’t know how my close friend feels seeing me playing with another boy, just like I don’t know my Mom’s feelings when she watches me playing with another. I was born selfish, with my heart and I hadn’t learned unselfishness/empathy. Empathy must be taught.
So by the time I’m an uneducated 13-year-old boy, maybe I’m flirting with this girl, and then that girl, unconscious of how this girl feels. My nature is to be attracted to many so I will have my eyes on all the girls I feel attraction towards. When I was age 15, I decided to enter into a relationship with 1 girl, but I was filled with ignorance about the nature of my attractions and selfishness. I still felt attractions towards other girls, and whether or not you physically cheat or not, emotional and mental cheating has the same result. It prevents you from being pulled closer and closer to One Love. I still had attractions and cravings for other girls, which was okay as long as I understood my nature, which I didn’t. Ever since I left my Mom’s side, I felt multiple strong attractions at the same time. But when I decided to date, 2 people made a decision to explore attractions further, to see if unity was possible. Me and my 15-year-old girlfriend fell in love emotionally and showed it through physical/emotional expression. Through time, we became closer and closer through push and pull but we could only be pulled so close because I kept my eyes looking out into the world of women, curious about my attractions. I did this because I didn’t understand where a love between 2 people could go. Most everyone doesn’t know what it looks like because the world doesn’t understand Love. I don’t know what a progressively, limitless happy Love looks like because everybody’s moving through life ignorantly. I thought the sexual love me and my girlfriend shared was Home Plate, with not much else to accomplish. I was left wondering if I was satisfied with the Home Plate I reached, or if I should see what else was out there, how Home Plate (sex) with other girls felt. I wondered if someone else felt better and I definitely didn’t feel complete with what I had. But that wasn’t because the sex wasn’t great. It was because I didn’t understand I wasn’t at Home Plate, that I was only at 3rd base. And I wasn’t conscious or knowledgeable about Humans and Love enough to understand where and how to get to Home Plate (Two Hearts=One Love).
People need to understand before you enter a relationship, you spent your life selfish. You only had to introduce yourself, you only had to think for yourself. I spent 15 years mostly thinking for myself in a world that didn’t teach me unselfishness/empathy where I’d be set up for success. I wasn’t set up for success in a relationship because I learned from an ignorant world who taught me to be a Man, to hold my pain in, hold my cries in, who taught me to be angrier. Being a player, a playboy, having many sexual partners was glorified. It’s glorified because sex is seen as Home Plate, the ultimate goal. Children don’t know there are greater feelings than sex. Children don’t remember feeling complete in life, with Mom and her heart, needing nothing else, not even sex. People don’t use their minds in Love. Like it took us 8 or so years of practice to hold in our cries, it takes time to gain control in Love.
When I began dating at age 15, I needed to understand my attractions were normal. I felt attractions towards many girls and I met 1 girl, who was also age 15, and we both felt strong pull towards each other. We both wanted to explore our attraction; with a verbal agreement to date. I’ll still feel attractions when I see a beautiful heart, mind, or body in my eyes, but I should keep it at a respectable distance, as I should’ve learned and practiced with my siblings and cousins. For example, I can see a woman who has a nice butt, or smile, or did a good deed and I felt attraction. Hey, I can honestly say my sister has a nice butt, but I feel no sexual attraction. Children/teenage sexual emotions go haywire and teens must learn to control them with their mind (and masturbate for sexual release). The same way I feel when I feel about my sister is the same way I must feel when I look at another girl, mentally training myself to end any sexual pulls towards others, which results in the stronger pull and connection to my Love. I have to be able to look at a nice butt and appreciate it for beauty only, not feel sexual pull because if I feel pull towards another, I am being pushed away from my girlfriend, regardless if I take action or not. Emotional feelings are more powerful than we realize and we must mentally direct our entire energy to figuring out if this one person is the person I want to remain on the road of Love with, on the road to uniting hearts. Love takes strength. You have to fight to put your attractions in check, to keep them at respectable levels. But I was ignorant. I was miseducated and sleeping around was glorified. And though my girlfriend was ignorant too, she is more heart by nature, and she knew how to look at me as her one and only. I on the other hand, kept feeling stronger and stronger Love, pull towards my girlfriend, but at the same time, I craved other girls based on my sexual attractions, and I didn’t actively fight the pull towards others because I didn’t realize it was pushing me away from my girlfriend. I spent years pulling and pushing and pulling towards other girls, until I pushed my girlfriend completely away from me, just like my father did, and my grandfather did, to their Loves. I spent more than 3 years separated from my Love, during my 20’s, emotionally lost to the emotional detriment of other women because I was still attached to my 15-year-old Love. I spent more than 10 years hurting other girls by ignorantly pulling girls close to me that I had no real emotional connection with, or at least not the complete connection that made me feel whole, like what I unconsciously felt with my Love.
My Love and I weren’t set up for success in love in our world, but fortunately, before we lost it for good, we figured it out and began our journey 3 years ago, when we were age 26. Unity in Love is so difficult to achieve and it’s impossibly difficult if people don’t understand Love, and themselves. In my world, children grow up to become angry adults who don’t understand how to be happy. And an endless cycle of misery continues. Our world is chaotic with violence because people were never taught to understand their emotions, their humanity. My world, my country wastes children’s minds. Look at how and what is taught. Children enter kindergarten with naptime, mealtime, playtime, and learn-time, all things a child loves to do in nature. When a child learns something new, they are happier than ever, experiencing the natural high of achievement. Kindergarten sucks children in and parents are comfortable because children love kindergarten. But then when a child turns age 6 or so, with some time learning to hold in cries, to keep pain in, to stop fighting for our nature, they send us to first grade where they sit us down in classrooms with no sun and lecture us for hours. They dress us in the same uniform clothes because we all must look the same because we are the same. They design a specific curriculum and spend 12 years beating the same nonsense into every child because we’re all the same. They teach us to listen to superiors, to do as we are told, to learn what we are taught, to learn lies like a white man freed black men. And we obey because we are weak and gullible.
Humans are meant to run around and discover, not sit for hours. They keep us indoors where the sun can’t inject us with energy. People give credit to a god for their life and that’s fine, but there’s something in the sky that is a real reason why we are here and why we grow. We’re not so different than trees; we need water and sun to grow. There’s all these vitamins we get from food but Vitamin D, if it actually is a vitamin (I don’t know), we get from the sun. Vitamin D is for strong bones and healthy growth. We can’t get what the sun gives us from anywhere else. It injects us with energy and they take it away, training us to be able to sit inside for hours doing work, getting mad if we fall asleep. Children stop to sleep; they want us to stop and work. And then they lied to everyone by throwing milk at all these children for Vitamin D because that promotes strong bones, even though it doesn’t. They lied to us all and we still ignorantly accept it. The Sun is what strengthens our bones which is why darker people have stronger/denser bones (on average). We are not protecting our children on even the simplest situations when we keep milk in schools instead of pushing water. Milk gives stomach aches; not water. The body needs water, not milk. If we needed milk then I’d still be breastfeeding and all mothers would be filled with milk forever.
Every child is different and we are all proof of what is happening against our nature. If we are all different, how can you apply the same curriculum to all children? If we’re all different, we learn differently, and our interests are different and our passions, our potential world contributions will be different. We can’t all follow the same curriculum and be the best we can be because education in America is designed to prepare you for the adult work force, rather than to explore humanity and each individual’s passions and talents/strengths. Children should be taught to understand who they are, their feelings and all. Adults should help children discover their passion through exposure of all world opportunities. Like, I felt passion for writing on specific subjects and cooking but I wasn’t exposed to or pushed towards my passions. I was pushed towards math because we take math every year and everyone said I was great with numbers. But screw numbers. I followed numbers into misery working as an Accountant. I was good at it and I could succeed economically but I could never be happy, I could never truly succeed because I felt nothing in my heart for it. Human behavior and emotions, human justice, what I’m doing right now is my heart and I’ve been chasing it and I’m happier and feeling continued natural highs though all I’m discovering. But this is the road not encouraged because the world is not set up for us to go after passions (only a very few can). I wasn’t set up for it. I had to leave a $50K+/year job to go after my passion and today I have less than $500 in my account, broke, with plenty debt because this world pushed me towards misery I refused to accept. They keep us in school and teach us things like Calculus, not because we ever need calculus, because we don’t, not in practice. Who really needs to use calculus every day? Or any day? They teach calculus because calculus is a problem where you must perform a set of routine procedures in order to get to a solution. If you mess up a step, your final solution will be incorrect. But they train you to understand how to sit down in a uniform and perform a specific set of procedures so you learn how to do the same in the working world; to all have the ability to follow routine procedures to get a job done. This devalues every Human because you mostly all become the same. I was employed as an Accountant, and while the work was challenging like a calculus problem, I eventually learned how to do the routine procedures to complete my assignments. But what of me was I adding? We all have more to give but if that’s all that they wanted, well, I can be fired at any moment because they can find anybody to learn routine procedures because that’s what is taught to all. We’re educated to become replaceable pawns. Think about a person who began a business. They didn’t just work in accounting, or manufacturing, or sales and marketing. They did everything to start that business because business was their passion. To be contained to one department means you’re not living your passion.
Our education system needs an overhaul. Curriculums must be designed to discover each child’s passions and allow them to work on their passions because everyone is different and passions and skills will be different. If you spend years focused on a passion, well, look at what I’ve done. I’ve spent the past 4 years jobless, focused on my passion of humanity and look where I’ve come. I’m broke and I feel great. But not that great because I’m broke and my world is ravaged by unnecessary pain. If everyone pulls themselves towards their passions, they will acquire a unique set of expertise in their area(s). They can become a best at what they do and then they will be a person of value, a person the world can’t just fire and throw away because all they did was a routine set of procedures that anyone else can do. In a world with greater consciousness about Humanity and Love and education based on our Humanity, all the genius’s will come out and advance the world exponentially, instead of genius’s being wasted and unrealized like they are today, intelligent people stuck looking for any replaceable job. We are not supposed to work for business and be a replaceable pawn. We are all supposed to be a business of 1, sharing knowledge to advance our collective knowledge further, to advance Humanity towards unity. The natural highs of achievement can’t compare to drugs and alcohol. And I’d know… People don’t feel the natural highs, the happiness they know exists so they turn to drugs and alcohol for moments of happiness. They have sex for moments of pleasure, with no understanding of the natural highs that are felt with the progressive pulling together of hearts over time. People are chasing moments of high and are never satisfied because deep within, we unconsciously know of a place of complete satisfaction. It’s a place we’re all chasing. It’s a place we all know about in our hearts (not yet our minds) thanks to our Mom’s, our first love. We entered this world complete and we must understand who we are to find our way back to completeness, and hey, we are gifted with plenty of time to find emotional completion. Life span is about 75 years currently, plenty of time to connect. We must put heart and mind together to figure it out. There’s a reason why they are the 2 most protected organs in the body; heart=powerful ribcage, mind=thick skull.
When a baby is born, who is he? He is his head, feeling no shame about his body. Babies run around naked without care because their body is not who they are. They are their heads and their body is a tool to get around, powered by the heart, operated by the brain, us, who is in control. We have strong connections to Mom that we don’t comprehend, but Mom has a mind that’s advanced and has a greater understanding of the bond. You may have forgotten your cries, but Mom didn’t. You may have forgotten how much you loved being held, especially you Men, but Mom never forgot. And you loved being held.
Based on what I understand today, I have a theory on death/passing on. I believe we are here to learn all that we can about ourselves. We are our own person, and on Earth, we are given a body that experiences emotions that we must learn about, ours and others. We wouldn’t understand how to empathize if we don’t learn it. Think of a skin burn. You don’t really understand how much pain a burn delivers until you burn yourself. You don’t understand how much it hurts to lose a loved one until someone you love passes on. I believe part of the purpose of death is to teach us how much people actually mean to us because it can be hard to appreciate what’s right in front of us. When someone dies, they leave their body behind. Why? Because they are not their bodies. They are their minds. In the mind, you can decide whether to be honest with your hearts emotions, like when you women feel emotions of protection for children when Dads are being too aggressive, it’s up to you to follow your heart and protect children, or ignore your heart and accept pain. Life on Earth allows us to feel emotions so that our minds understand the pain and happiness. Like when people get burned by boiling water, I didn’t empathize with the pain. I didn’t care much or react. But now if I see boiling water touch someone’s skin, I say “ouch” with them because I burned myself with boiling water last year and it hurt like hell. I feel we are here to learn feelings, to learn about ourselves and others because when we go on to the next phase, we leave our bodies behind, but our mind, our consciousness lives on. The mind doesn’t feel pain; it interprets it. It’s a beautiful idea in my mind. While we may understand pain in the next phase, we won’t have to feel the physical pain. When someone dies, they will look upon their family on Earth and see their pain. They won’t physically feel the heartache that comes along with sadness, but mentally they are in pain because they’re family is in pain at their loss, not understanding that they will see, or feel them again. Understand, as bad as my family feels for the loss of my little brother, feeling like we didn’t protect him, like we let him down, he will still feel worse. He feels worse because of the pain his death caused. He feels worse because he feels he let us down. Everyone wants to protect their loves, whatever age, and if they are passed on, they can’t protect us in the way they want to and could if they were still with us. I know this is why it was so difficult for my Granma to let go. And my little brother feels even worse because at the end of the day, he left us, us who are still together, us on Earth who still have each other. And while he may feel worse, that shouldn’t pain us too much because the pain is felt differently. They left their bodies that couldn’t handle that crippling pain. For those of us who remain on Earth, it’s up to us to fight for our own happiness because that is what makes them happy. If years later we are still in ongoing pain at their loss, then they will remain sad. But if we are happy and live for happiness, understanding that we will be with them one day, then they will be happy.
We all have freewill and we should be educated about who we are so we understand the consequences of our actions. Our lives are not predetermined. If they were, there wouldn’t be freewill and suicides. We all make decision every day that lead us on a certain road. We are continuously faced with decisions that will take us on a different course depending on the decision we make.
I believe my main purpose in life is to find the heart that completes my heart; for 2 hearts to become 1. The world will continuously test the strength of Love and it’s up to me and my wife to protect what we have. I can only do my part and trust my wife will do hers. And because you only have control of you, because you only have your heart, well, that’s why it’s so special for 2 hearts to connect…
There should be 1 underlying law for Humanity: everyone’s pursuit of happiness should be protected and never hindered by another, whether due to verbal or physical actions.
*There are more points I will be adding and I will highlight (maybe another color but I will make it clear) any additions so that they are clear